THAT BENCH IN THE PARK

THAT BENCH IN THE PARK

"When I moved a step closer,you moved two

 Now when you have moved a step away,shouldn't I move two?"

That was she was thinking. The calculation was easy. They always are. But each time she failed to understand them, fool that she was. When people told her she was building castles in the air she replied that she would fly up to them. When they said that Sahana, that was her name, would leave her just like others did---that was what calculations said and was inevitable, she jeered at them. It was their turn now. About ten days have passed since then. She often sees Sahana on the streets now, with Partho. And each time those words come rushing back to her. When Sahana smiles at her, she tries to look through it and find her Sahana,the Sahana that she had known for all these years. But each time she fails abysmally. That day is clear in front of her eyes as if it has just happened. It was the last day of spring when she had gone and hugged her from the back in that bench in the park. People watched with curious eyes, they always did, but they hardly cared. It was the first time that Sahana moved away instead of hugging her back. It was then she felt the signs of impending doom. It had hardly taken seconds for her world to fall apart. It was funny cause that was the world which she, sorry, they had lovingly built over the years and now it lay shattered. Though she doesn't clearly remember each word Sahana spoke but she remembers she ended with this- "we will definitely keep meeting like friends do and moreover, you see, the re-enforcement of Article 377 will make things more difficult for us."

To this she smiled, even in those circumstances, because she very well knew it was just an excuse and that too, a silly one. There were times when Sahana had held her hand in public despite her reluctance. Each time she brought about the topic of society, Sahana had laughed the whole thing off. At first she felt surrea,l then a little vexed. But gradually the anger diminished as truth dawned upn her. The competition was tough, she realized. Partho had prestige, a secured future and perhaps a bit of love too for her. And all she had was only love and lots of love. No, she thought,Sahana deserves the very best in life. But even then, every dusk she treads to the park bench and sits there expecting that someday Sahana will hug her from the back just like she had done a long time ago because the fact that Sahana is gone is something she cannot come to terms with and the fact she will never return is something she doesn't want to come to terms with----no matter how much she tries.

-Somikkhya Mukherjee